A Warbler Chat
by In The Loft
Summary: The Warblers have a chatroom, where Wes and Thad fret over setlists, Trent swears vengeance, David wonders why his friends aren't in a mental institution, and Nick and Jeff... Are just being Nick and Jeff.
1. Chapter 1

**So I've read a lot of these, and I thought I'd try one of my own... And because I love The Warblers and have written nothing with them in (except The Reasons I Love Him where Wevid appear but...) I thought I'd do one for Dalton. Thanks to inu – my lovely beta. :) And I own nil. Zilch. Zero. If I did Glee wouldn't be as amazing as it is now. Though Klaine would have gotten together sooner. And the Warblers would be in it more often... Sorry! On with the show! **

_**Wes Montgomery**_** has set up a chatroom.**

_**Wes Montgomery**_** has invited **_**David Thompson**_**, **_**Thad Harwood, Trent Nixon, Jeff Sterling, and Nick Duval to join the chat.**_

_**David has joined the chat**_

**David: **Nice one Wes.  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Yes. We now have a place to discuss our setlist for future performances.  
><strong>David: <strong>The choir room won't do...?

_**Thad has joined the chat**_

**David: **Hey Thad.  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Hello Thaderick.  
><strong>Thad: <strong>... Are you mocking my name?  
><strong>Wes: <strong>*facepalm*  
><strong>David: <strong>Thad, help me out here. Wes is trying to turn this place into a setlist discussion.  
><strong>Thad: <strong>Despite that Wes mocked my name, I agree with him. We have to take extra care now that Blaine's gone.**  
>Wes: <strong>That traitor shan't be missed.

_**Nick and Jeff have joined the chat**_

**Jeff: **Sup?**  
>Nick: <strong>Dude, why you gotta be hating on Blaine?  
><strong>David: <strong>Since when have you been 'street'?  
><strong>Thad: <strong>ARE YOU MOCKING MY ACCENT SIR?  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Thad, _you aren't street.  
><em>**Nick: **Street needs quotation marks?  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>I SAID SUP DUDES?  
><strong>Nick: <strong>The sky.  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>Ha. Ha. Ha.  
><strong>David: <strong>You two are lazy and hate working. Side with me here? Wes and Thad think we should turn this place into a setlist discussion.  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>Firstly – charming.  
><strong>Nick: <strong>Secondly – dudes, if you do that, we're out.  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>Anyway, if you're going to do that shouldn't you invite all the other Warblers?  
><strong>David: <strong>GOOD POINT!  
><strong>Wes: <strong>... Damn you all.  
><strong>David: <strong>I feel so unloved. : (

_**Trent has joined the chat**_

**Trent: **This is a kangaroo court!  
><strong>David: <strong>Er... Why?  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>I like kangaroos!  
><strong>Nick: <strong>Pandas are better.  
><strong>David: <strong>I'm the only sane one here. :'(  
><strong>Trent: <strong>Because _someone _put my _gym socks _in with my _Hawaiian shirt _and my socks are now stained pink and Coach Oliver has given me a detention for improper conduct and violation of uniform code.  
><strong>Nick: <strong>Ha... Ha... Ha...  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>SORRY DUDE! That may have been us.  
><strong>Trent: <strong>I will have my revenge.  
><strong>Nick: <strong>Should we be scared?  
><strong>Trent: <strong>VENGEANCE!  
><strong>Nick: <strong>I'll take that as a yes then...  
><strong>David: <strong>I really am the only sane one here.  
><strong>Thad: <strong>I am sane!  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Who said that? Your mom?  
><strong>Thad: <strong>Are you mocking my mother sir?  
><strong>Wes: <strong>I give up. Why did you guys elect _him _as a leader of the Warblers?  
><strong>Nick: <strong>Why did we elect you as chairman?  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Trent?  
><strong>Trent: <strong>Yes?  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Can I join you in your VENGEANCE?  
><strong>Trent: <strong>I would welcome it. *evil grin*  
><strong>Nick: <strong>JEFFFF SAAAAAVEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEE!  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>I'M COMING NICKY!  
><strong>David: <strong>*facepalm* Wes please say I'm not the only one headdesking here?  
><strong>Wes: <strong>*bruised forehead* No dude. You're not.  
><strong>Thad: <strong>I feel out of a loop of epic bromances!  
><strong>Trent: <strong>So do I.  
><strong><br>**_Last message was written five minutes ago_

**Wes: **Awwwwkwwwaaarrrrrdddd  
><strong>David: <strong>*awkward turtle*  
><strong>Wes: <strong>*awkward turtle dance*  
><strong>David: <strong>*awkward turtle jive*  
><strong>Wes: <strong>*awkward turtle can can*  
><strong>David: <strong>*awkward turtle waltz*  
><strong>Trent: <strong>...  
><strong>Thad: <strong>So...  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Where've Nick and Jeff gone?  
><strong>Thad: <strong>They're hiding in the closet.  
><strong>David: <strong>*rereads that sentence* Er...?  
><strong>Thad: <strong>NOT LIKE THAT. Well... No, they're in my wardrobe.  
><strong>Trent: <strong>Am I that scary?  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>You're not.  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Am _I_?  
><strong>Nick: <strong>Nope. Your gavel is though.  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>I swear, I've lost IQ points because of that thing.  
><strong>Trent: <strong>And he needed those!  
><strong>Nick: <strong>OUCH!  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>Harsh dude. :(  
><strong>Wes: <strong>I was thinking maybe another Billy Joel song? Uptown Girl went rather well, or so I've heard. I was rather busy being ill during that impromptu performance. Luckily I missed seeing the TRAITOR.  
><strong>David: <strong>Wes, chillax bro.  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Never say that again.  
><strong>David: <strong>CHILLAX CHILLAX CHIIIIIILLAAAAAAAAAAAXXXX!

**Wes: **_I hate you.  
><em>**Thad: **Maybe 'Vienna'? By Billy Joel?  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Ooh I like your thinking. Nick, what do you think of Vienna?

_**Nick and Jeff have left the chat.**_

**Thad: **Their loss!  
><strong>Trent: <strong>The world is a sad place when the setlist for future show choir performances cannot be discussed without people jumping ship.  
><strong>David: <strong>Yep. _That's _what makes the world a sad place. Not the poverty or disease or anything like that.  
><strong>Trent: <strong>Wes?  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Yes?  
><strong>Trent: <strong>May I borrow your gavel?  
><strong>Wes: <strong>NAY! NO ONE CAN TOUCH MR BANG BANG EXCEPT ME!  
><strong>Trent: <strong>...  
><strong>David: ...<br>****Wes: **What? 

_The last message was written three minutes ago_

**David: **Hey Wes? I was thinking.  
><strong>Trent: <strong>Wow that must have been really difficult for you. Do you need a lie down?  
><strong>Thad: <strong>Wow Trent, you're on a _roll_!  
><strong>Trent: <strong>*bows*  
><strong>David: <strong>I'm going to ignore that... Wes, you really need to make up with Blaineykins.  
><strong>Wes: <strong>NAY! HE BETRAYED OUR TRUST DAVID!  
><strong>David: <strong>And we've forgiven him. You need to take the high road on this one.  
><strong>Wes: <strong>REALLY? BECAUSE THE TRAITOR IS UNDOUBTEDLY A HIGHWAY MAN, POISED TO ROB ME OF MY HOPES, DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS BEFORE I GET TO THE NEXT POST!  
><strong>David: <strong>...  
><strong>Thad: ...<br>Trent: ...  
>David: <strong>OK, I'm not even going to ask. Just make up with him OK?  
><strong>Wes: <strong>No.  
><strong>Trent: <strong>Lads. This calls for drastic action.  
><strong>Thad: <strong>YOU MOCK MY AGE SIR!  
><strong>Trent: <strong>THIS IS A KANGAROO COURT... CHATROOM!  
><strong>David: <strong>My God... 

**Review? **


	2. Chapter 2

**So I forgot to say this last time... But I know Wes has meant to have graduated but seeing how David and Thad are still on the show I'm just going to say he hasn't :) I hope that is OK. **

_**David Thompson has invited Blaine Anderson to join the chat**_

**David: **Ho hum...

_**Trent has joined the chat**_

**David: **DAMMIT.  
><strong>Thad: <strong>Charming...  
><strong>David: <strong>Sorry. I was hoping you were Blaine.  
><strong>Thad: <strong>Wait, you invited him _here_? To _Wes' _chatroom? Do you have a deathwish? You know that Wes is cross with Blaine!  
><strong>David: <strong>It's not like Wes owns the chatroom.  
><strong>Trent: <strong>Not all of us have enough money to buy out NASA when our parents die.  
><strong>David: <strong>I did tell you to stop watching AVPM did I not?  
><strong>Trent: <strong>You did, yes. Did I listen?  
><strong>David: <strong>Obviously not.  
><strong>Trent: <strong>;)

_**Blaine has joined the chat**_

**David: **BLAINE!**  
>Trent: <strong>Hey dude!

**Blaine: **Hi! Are you sure it's OK for me to join this chatroom? It's called 'The Chatroom for Warblers and Not Quitters Like THE TRAITOR'. I don't feel very welcomed...  
><strong>Trent: <strong>Relax Blaine. That's just Wes. He hates you at the moment.  
><strong>David: <strong>Trent. Shut up.  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>He still hasn't forgiven me?  
><strong>David: <strong>Gaaah nuuuuu! I can just imagine you doing the Kicked Puppy Blaine Expression.  
><strong>Trent: <strong>Hey Blaine do you still jump on furniture when you sing?

_**Nick and Jeff have joined the chat**_

**David: **Oh no.  
><strong>Trent: <strong>Eeevviiiil  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>Hey Nick,Jeff  
><strong>Nick: <strong>BLAINE!  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>DUDE I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN LIKE... FOREVER!  
><strong>Nick: <strong>Do you still jump on furniture when you sing?  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>I'm fine thank you for asking(!) And maybe...  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>Cool beans.  
><strong>David: <strong>Ignore the children, Blaine. I need to go through this plan.  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>There's a plan?  
><strong>Trent: <strong>There's a plan.  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>There's always a plan.  
><strong>Nick: <strong>A David Plan.  
><strong>David: <strong>OK then... Listen. You have to apologise to Wes. Grovel if necessary!  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>Grovel...?  
><strong>David: <strong>Wes is pretty cut up about you going.  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>hhE MADjE He made a dartboard of your face and throws things at it.  
><strong>Trent: <strong>Those things would be darts.  
><strong>Nick: <strong>Not all the time...  
><strong>David: <strong>WE DON'T NEED TO GO INTO THE WEIRD INNER WORKINGS OF MY BEST FRIEND'S MIND OKAY GUYS?  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>You guys are just as worrying as I remember you. :D  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>Awww.  
><strong>Nick: <strong>He still wuvs us Jeffy!  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>Doesn't it make you feel all warm and goo-ey inside Nicky?  
><strong>Trent: <strong>Children! Let Daddy talk to Uncle Blaine!  
><strong>David<strong>: Why do I have to be their dad? I can only stand them when I've had an espresso or two... Or three...  
><strong>Nick: <strong>Just like my Daddy! :D  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>And mine :(  
><strong>David: <strong>OK... Things just got _very _awkward over here so I'm just going to... OH MY GOD WES IS HERE!

_**David has left the chat**_

**Trent: **DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THEM!  
><strong>Nick: <strong>We're insulted.  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>You know I'm still here right?  
><strong>Trent: <strong>Oh. OK then! : )  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>We feel unloved.

_**Wes and David have joined the chat**_

**Wes: **Hello all. I have our setlist!  
><strong>Nick: <strong>NO! WE AGREED THAT THIS WOULDN'T BE A SETLIST DISCUSSION!  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>IT'S TRUE! I WAS THERE!  
><strong>Wes: <strong>But they're so good!  
><strong>David: <strong>Are these the ones we vetoed?  
><strong>Wes: <strong>You and Thad? Of course.  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>Hey Wes...  
><strong>Wes: <strong>... Did someone hear a rat squeaking?  
><strong>Trent: <strong>RATS? I'M ALLERGIC TO THEM! I'LL DIE!  
><strong>David: <strong>It's Blaine, Trent.  
><strong>Trent: <strong>Woah. Blaine turned into a _rat_?  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>No...  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Why are you here, TRAITOR?  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>Um... Reasons...  
><strong>David: <strong>I think you two need to sort it out, Wes.  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>We think so too.  
><strong>Wes: <strong>No one asked you, PEASANTS.  
><strong>Nick: <strong>Hey! We're just as rich as you. Jeff's richer!  
><strong>Wes: <strong>:P  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>Wes – my transition to McKinley wasn't anything personal!  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Stop spewing your lies, traitor.  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>O...K... No, Wes – we've been friends since we were fourteen. Are you really going to let one little tiny thing destroy all that?  
><strong>Wes: <strong>...  
><strong>David: <strong>Wes...?  
><strong>Wes: <strong>... BLAINE DUDE I'VE MISSED YOU!  
><strong>Nick: <strong>Well that was...  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>... Unexpected...  
><strong>David: <strong>Phew. I'm not stuck in the middle again. That sucks, let me tell you.  
><strong>Trent: <strong>I haven't said anything for ages. I feel left out.  
><strong>Nick: <strong>HAHAHAHAHA  
><strong>Trent: <strong>Double revenge for you then, Duval.  
><strong>Nick: <strong>__Ha... Ha... Sigh.  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>I'm going to ask the question I know we're all thinking somewhere deep down inside us... Where is Thad?  
><strong>Nick: <strong>OH MY GOD JEFF HE'S COMING FOR US!

_**Nick and Jeff have left the chat**_

**Blaine: **OK, I'm really confused.  
><strong>David: <strong>Blaine, I think it's best not to ask.  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Do you miss us Blaineykins?

**Blaine: **Of course I do.  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Is McKinley good?  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>It's... Interesting.  
><strong>David: <strong>Are the lessons adequate?  
><strong>Trent: <strong>Do they teach Classical Civilisation? I can't imagine a world without learning that...  
><strong>Wes: <strong>...  
><strong>David: <strong>...  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>...  
><strong>Trent: <strong>What? Isn't a man allowed to like learning about the Ancient World anymore?  
><strong>Wes: <strong>...  
><strong>David: <strong>...  
><strong>Blaine; <strong>...  
><strong>Trent: <strong>Urgh. You guys suck.

_**Trent has left the chat.**_

**Blaine: **Yeah, I should probably go too, guys. I'm meeting up with Kurt.  
><strong>David: <strong>OK. Bye.

_**Blaine has left the chat**_

**Wes: **LOL. BRB. G2G.  
><strong>David: <strong>What are you doing?  
><strong>Wes: <strong>__I have discovered 'text speech'.  
><strong>David: <strong>Oh my...  
><strong>Wes: <strong>ROFL.  
><strong>David: <strong>Wes?

**Wes: **David?  
><strong>David: <strong>Please tell me you knew what they meant before now?  
><strong>Wes: <strong>... Yes.  
><strong>David: <strong>Is that a yes, yes? Or a ... Yes, yes?  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Neither of us are smart enough to make any sense of that, Davy.  
><strong>David: <strong>_I _am!  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Whatevs.  
><strong>David: <strong>You're gonna talk in chat speech from now on, aren't you?  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Probs.  
><strong>David: <strong>I hate you.  
><strong>Wes: <strong>I love you too Davy. NOW WE HAVE WARBLER MEETING! WEVID AWAAAAY!

_**Wes has left the chat**_

**David: **Oh my God...

_**David has left the chat**_

**Review? **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much to everyone who's reviewed – it means a lot! I own nothing.**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thad has joined the chat<strong>_

**Thad:** Mwahahahahaha! Those scrawny peasants are mine!

_**David has joined the chat**_

**David: **Do I even want to know?

**Thad: **I have exacted my painful revenge.  
><strong>David: <strong>On Jeff and Nick?  
><strong>Thad: <strong>Yes.  
><strong>David: <strong>Ah.

_**Wes has joined the chat**_

**Wes: **AH MY FELLOW COUNCIL MEMBERS I COME BEARING AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

**David: **Would it _kill _you to actually _talk _to me? We're in the same room!

**Wes: **... No, because then _Thad _wouldn't know.

**David: **... Damn.

**Wes: **Logic outs! So, as I was saying. I have decided that we will be singing Vienna, by Billy Joel, and

Lucky Day, by Nicola Roberts for our concert at the caring home on Friday.

**Thad: **Are you sure Lucky Day is suitable for people of that age?

**Wes: **Don't discriminate against the elderly Thad. Now, what were you saying about Niff?

_**Trent has joined the chat**_

**Trent: **Can I ask why Nick and Jeff are covered in feathers and hanging from the roof of the canteen?

**Thad: **My revenge.

**Trent: **Hey that's reminded me. I need to enact revenge on Niff too.

**Wes:** Just don't break them, I want Nick to sing Vienna.

**Trent: **Can I break them a little tiny bit?

**Wes: **Well...

**David:** NO!

**Trent: **You don't control me.

**Wes: **No, but Mr Bang Bang can do some damage.

**Trent: **Fine. You win. THIS ONE.

_**Nick has joined the chat**_

**Nick: **Thad I have feathers in places feather should _never _go.

**David: **Too much information.

**Wes: **Where's Jeff?

**David: **Yeah. Seeing one of you without the other is creepy. It's like Fred and George. You can't say Nick without saying Jeff.

**Nick: **Well you can't say Wes without saying David.

**Wes: **Someone's defensive.

**Nick: **Someone's covered in feathers. And it's not you.

**Wes: **Poor Nickykins.

**David: **Er, Wes, are you feeling alright?

**Wes: **Fine and dandy, thanks for asking.

**Nick: **This isn't over Thad. Watch your back, and don't close your eyes, because when you least expect it we will get our revenge. And then you will wish that ours had been as innocent as feathers and a net.

_**Nick has left the chat**_

_**Jeff has joined the chat**_

**Trent: **I don't know what's creepier – Nick's speech, or the fact that they're not on at the same time.

**Jeff: **I was in the shower, Nick is in the shower now.

**Wes; **TOO MUCH INFORMATION!  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>Your face is too much information.  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Your mom is too much information.  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>Your gavel is too much information.  
><strong>Wes: <strong>*gasp* YOU DARE INSULT MR BANG BANG!  
><strong>David: <strong>Back away Jeff. Wes, calm down.  
><strong>Wes: <strong>YOU ARE HENCEFORTH NO LONGER A WARBLER!  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>You can't do that

_**Blaine has joined the chat**_

**Blaine: **Figured I'd say hi.  
><strong>Wes: <strong>BLAINE TELL HIM!  
><strong>David: <strong>Don't tell him!  
><strong>Wes: <strong>TRAITOR! ONLY MR BANG BANG UNDERSTANDS ME!

_**Wes has left the chat**_

**David: **I'm so worried for his sanity right now. He's on the bed crying, and hugging the gavel. I'm going to go comfort him.

_**David has left the chat**_

**Blaine: **Sometimes I wonder why I'm friends with them.  
><strong>Nick: <strong>WE HAVE ALL THE RIGHT FRIENDS IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES SO YEAH WE'RE GOING DOWN!  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>ALL THE RIGHT MOVES AND ALL THE RIGHT FACES, SO YEAH WE'RE GOING DOWN!  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>Hello to you too.  
><strong>Nick: <strong>Hello my darling Blaine-kins. And how is your mother?  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>... Fine... Why...?  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>BAHAHAHAHAHA  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>You two worry me.  
><strong>Trent: <strong>I'M STILL HERE!  
><strong>Nick: <strong>Urgh. Look what the _cat _dragged in.  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>I know it's disgusting.  
><strong>Nick: <strong>Ewww, that's gross!  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>You guys have a cat?  
><strong>Nick: <strong>... *shifty eyes* No...  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>We have a possum that is shaped like a cat.  
><strong>Trent: <strong>I thought you were talking about me...

_**Mr Bang Bang has joined the chat**_

**Nick: **...  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>...  
><strong>Trent: <strong>...  
><strong>Thad: <strong>...  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>...  
><strong>Trent: <strong>I'm just gonna come out and say what we're all thinking. What.  
><strong>Nick: <strong>The.  
><strong>Jeff: <strong>Actual.  
><strong>Thad: <strong>Hell?  
><strong>Blaine: <strong>David, you're supposed to make sure this sort of crazy doesn't happen!

_**Wes has joined the chat**_

**Wes: **Say hello to Mr Bang Bang please.  
><strong>Trent: <strong>It's a gavel, Wes.  
><strong>Wes: <strong>IT'S MORE THAN A GAVEL! IT'S MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER!

_**David has joined the chat**_

**David: **... Charming.  
><strong>Wes: <strong>Apart from you Davy. You're my lifepartner.  
><strong>Nick: <strong>And you wonder why we think you're gay.

**David: **Takes one to know one.  
><strong>Thad: <strong>CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE GIANT POLKADOTTED ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM?  
><strong>Mr Bang Bang: <strong>Hello all.

_**Nick has left the chat**_

_**Jeff has left the chat**_

_**Trent has left the chat**_

_**Thad has left the chat**_

**Wes: **How very rude.  
><strong><br>**_**Wes has left the chat**_

**Blaine: **Looks like it's just you and me, Mr Bang Bang. ... Oh God.

_**Blaine has left the chat.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews would be much appreciated. I was thinking of bringing Kurt in...? <strong>


End file.
